The Reality of Controlling Food in a World That Feeds Your “Failure”
One of the most common things I hear from clients is: “Why can’t I just stick to it? Why do I always give in?”
The truth is, it’s not all about self-control. Yes, willpower plays a role, but the deck is stacked against you in ways most people don’t realize.
The Modern Food Environment Isn’t Neutral
Food has never been more available, accessible, and engineered than it is today. Grocery store shelves are lined with products designed to light up your brain’s reward pathways. In fact, research shows that ultra-processed foods can trigger brain activity similar to addictive substances. And it’s not just the food itself—it's the environment. Workplaces, schools, and social settings are filled with “default” choices that are easy, cheap, and hard to resist.
So when a client tells me they ate the donuts at the office or grabbed drive-thru on a busy night, I remind them: you didn’t fail. You responded to an impulse crafted from an environment built to feed your so-called “failure.”
The Emotional Weight of Guilt
Still, the guilt is heavy. I’ve seen clients beat themselves up for weeks over a holiday weekend, convinced that a few indulgences “ruined everything.” But here’s the reality: nobody eats perfectly—not even dietitians, trainers, or health coaches. Yes, me. What matters isn’t avoiding every slip, but learning how to respond to them.
Taking Back Control: Strategies That Work in Real Life
So what can you do? You can’t change the whole food industry, but you can shift how you move through it.
Redesign your environment where you can. At home, keep nourishing foods easy to see and grab. Store the treats in a cupboard instead of the counter. At work, bring satisfying snacks (protein, fiber, healthy fats) so the pastries aren’t your only option.
Plan for imperfection. If you know pizza night or a birthday party is coming, don’t pretend you’ll “just avoid it.” Decide ahead of time how you’ll enjoy it—without guilt—and then get back to your usual habits (this is important, do not let one meal or one day throw you into a state of self sabotaging).
Create a pause before autopilot choices. Even 30 seconds of asking, “Do I really want this right now? How will I feel in an hour?” can break the cycle of mindless eating. Create space for awareness.
Add before you subtract. Instead of obsessing over restriction, start by adding protein, vegetables, or water at meals. Over time, these additions naturally balance your intake and add a natural cap on calories.
Practice self-compassion. Food choices are not moral choices. You are not “good” or “bad” based on what you ate today. Progress comes from consistency, not perfection.
The Bigger Picture
Long-term success is about building resilient, flexible habits—not rigid rules. It’s about acknowledging that the food world won’t change overnight, but your response to it can.
When clients stop seeing every choice as a test and start seeing food as one part of a much bigger picture of health, the pressure lifts. They begin to notice small wins: feeling more energized, handling cravings differently, bouncing back faster after indulgences.
Because controlling food isn’t about fighting yourself—it’s about learning how to thrive in a world that profits off your struggles, while staying grounded in your own goals and values, as well as the long term vision.
References
Monteiro, C. A., et al. (2018). Ultra-processed foods: what they are and how to identify them. Public Health Nutrition, 21(1), 4–13.
Moubarac, J. C., et al. (2017). Consumption of ultra-processed foods predicts diet quality in Canada. Appetite, 108, 512–520.
Harris, J. L., et al. (2015). Food advertising targeted to youth: Pervasive, powerful, and problematic. Preventive Medicine, 69, 270–276.
Gearhardt, A. N., et al. (2011). Obesity and addiction: Can a complication of obesity be treated with an addiction framework? Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 7, 325–355.
